"Disgrace" by J.M. Coetzee

*spoiler warning*

(Re-upload!)

I first read this book the summer before I started my English degree, and it is a book I will never forget.

Set in Africa, the story follows David Lurie, an English professor who hates his life, and who allows himself to let his love for literature to romance him into a state of denial. This, of course, leads to disastrous consequences. I think that it is this self-blindness that drives the moral debate that runs throughout the book, evidenced by his statement that, "for a man of his age, 52, divorced, he has, to his mind, solved the problem of sex rather well." This sentence held new importance for me the more I read the novel, and cemented my theory that David was not only blind to others, but to himself also.

Not since reading Nabokov's Lolita, have I been so repulsed by a character as I was by David. This was largely down to David's actions concerning a sexual encounter with one of his students, and the way he does little to fight the loss of his job as a result, screams self-destruction. But, for me, this does nothing to redeem David's character. The ambiguity surrounding this encounter had me reading and re-reading the scene numerous times. But each time I read it, I failed to see how David could even come up with the idea that this was, "not rape, not quite that, but undesired nevertheless, undesired to the core." (I found myself yelling, 'just who are you trying to convince, David?!' at the pages each and every time).
The mystery surrounding the student's feelings for David as he has sex with her, furthers the ambiguity of the scene. For me, the point-of-view of a character who lives in such self-blindness cannot be trusted to determine whether or not he has raped a young a woman.

This is not the only point in the book where the subject of rape occurs. After David moves to stay with his daughter, Lucy, a group of black males infiltrate their home. He is violently attacked, and his daughter is gang-raped and falls pregnant as a consequence. A mixed-race child would have made Lucy's life even more difficult and would subject both mother and child to further prejudice in Africa back then. For me, David has failed as a father, the same way he failed as a teacher.

I appreciated the inclusion of the fact that the police were ineffective in post-apartheid Africa, but I missed the resistance that I felt David (or Lucy) could have brought to the book. With how much the book focuses on morality, I thought that at the very least, David would have changed for the better. Lucy, for example, could have been a character that changed David, that made him realise the kind of man he is/was becoming.  Instead, he continues in his downward spiral until he becomes a pathetic waste of a man who has nothing, and believes in even less.

Despite the fact that I hated David, I enjoyed the book. What the "disgrace," really is, is never really revealed to the reader. They have to determine if David's 'encounter' or Lucy's rape (and pregnancy) is the disgrace in the novel. This is what elevates the book from being a scathing representation of morality in post-apartheid Africa, to a novel that makes the reader develop their own opinions on morality as a whole as well as in the novel.

For me, David is a failure, as a teacher, as a father, and as a man. I found that the David's of this world hold the world back, simply by failing themselves and those around them. A sad, infuriating, beautiful, thoughtless, and compelling book that is well worth the read.

'Dark Lover' J.R. Ward

*please note: there may be some spoilers in my post. I tried hard not reveal anything that actually happens in the novel*


 Some background:

Book one of J.R. Ward's Blackdagger Brotherhood series begins with Dark Lover. The Brotherhood consists of different species of vampires that are physically superior to other vampires. To be a warrior in the Brotherhood, therefore, is both dangerous and lonely. Dark Lover tells the story of the King, the warrior named Wrath.

Like so many vampires in so many other vampire novels, Wrath is dark, exudes danger, and the picture of physical male perfection. I think Ward does a wonderful job, however, of making each of the Brothers look different from the generic vampire readers seem to know and love. (They definitely do not sparkle).

The novel begins with the Brother, Darius, asking Wrath to help his daughter, (who knows nothing of her father, nor of vampires,) through her transition from human to vampire. In Ward's novels, vampires transition physically into vampires at around their twenty-fifth birthday and must drink the blood of a vampire of the opposite sex in order to survive. I found this to be a rather clever way of bringing Wrath and Beth together, whilst also allowing for the potential to present obstacles for some of the other relationships that are developed in subsequent novels.

Throughout the novel, Ward slowly introduces the rest of the Brothers, Rhage, Vishous, and the twins, Phury and Zsadist. (I found the names rather clever and befitting to each brother's character, and you either love the names or you grow to love them with each passing book).

There are also layers to this series that is distinctly lacking from a lot of vampire novels (not just Twilight!) There are so many novels that are all about telling a ridiculously over-the-top lovestory, and then adding a villain that simply materialises out of thin air because the author has not clearly presented why the couple are in such danger. It makes it difficult for me, as the reader, to want the couple to succeed, (rather than wish the villain would just kill one or both of them already), if the characters are irritating me with their endless professions of undying love. In Ward's novels there is a believable threat to the vampire nation known as the Lessening society, highlighted through the frequent pov shifts to Mr. X as he recruits and plans the society's next move against the Brotherhood.  They, unlike vampires, can travel in daylight but are otherwise unlike vampires. What I like is that against the Lessening society, the Brotherhood are vulnerable in number as well as in race. They are not invincible, and Darius's unexpected murder at the beginning of the novel proves this.

Like humans, there are different social circles in Ward's series. I found this to be highly beneficial to the novels as it showed that the warriors, despite being protectors of their race, are not always worshipped and loved (something that many 'Twi-Hards' would perhaps find difficult to believe). There is also a focus on vampire politics in the novels and it comes to the fore the more the threat of the Lessers increases. Just like the human world, Ward's vampire world is also complicated by politics (something the Twilight series did include but I wish there had been much more of it).

Unlike the irritating Bella Swan, I found that Beth exudes personality in abundance and I felt like I got to know her, despite the fact that she is supposed to be an average young woman. It would have been easy for Ward to make Beth submissive and pathetic once she eventually falls in love with Wrath, but she does not. There is a noticeable change in Wrath that progresses throughout the novel the more he time he spends with Beth. There is growth in their relationship despite the understandable fear that Beth feels once Wrath enters her life. Stephenie Meyer could, perhaps, benefit from tips from Ward on how to construct a seemingly average female heroine who can also be a stand-alone character once she falls in love. Unlike Bella, Beth does not lose herself to the point where her character becomes unequivocally attached to Wrath.

What I found difficult to read was Wrath and Beth's first meeting which was essentially two strangers having sex without so much as a "hello." I suppose it served to highlight the instant connection between Wrath and Beth but I was, and am still not, entirely convinced that this warranted such a scene. I felt that the connection could have been presented in an equally sensual scene without it ending with the characters essentially engaging in almost anonymous sex. The rest of the love scenes in the novel get increasingly better the more you read, as opposed to some of the boring love scenes in other vampire novels. It would have been easy for Ward to fall into the trap of other writers such as Laurell K. Hamilton whose, once fantastic, Anita Blake Vampire Hunter series became annoyingly full of gratuitous (and badly written) sex. So shockingly bad did this series become that I stopped reading the series altogether. But this is not the case with Ward because with love comes the act of "bonding," a physical 'mating' that marks a vampire's love, identifiable only by scent. There is a primal element to this bonding that adds another dimension to the novel that makes it so different to Hamilton's endless scenes of rutting supernaturals.


It should be noted, therefore, that these books are not for the faint-hearted. If swearing, drugs, alcohol, sex, or violence, offends you then these books are not for you. Though not the best of the series, Dark Lover is a brilliant beginning to a fantastic series. 
The covers have been changed with the success of the series, something I am rather relieved about as the earlier covers were too sexual for me because it gave the impression of an erotic novel. I think this was a correct decision by the publishers to change the covers because with a title like Dark Lover it would be easy to dismiss this book as genre of fiction that it is not. I am glad it has changed, and for the better I think.

"The Child In Time" by Ian McEwan (*spoiler warning*)

(This is a re-upload!)

I do not pretend to have read all of McEwan's novels (though his novel, Saturday, is next on my reading list on my sister's recommendation).
Having already read Atonement, I was pleasantly surprised by the stark contrast in tone of McEwan's The Child In Time. The novel tells the story of Stephen Lewis, who, whilst out with his daughter one morning, lost her. I was originally apprehensive about being overwhelmed by Stephen's grief, but I appreciated the restraint in the sadness that enabled me to read through his pain. What I found interesting about Stephen's retelling of that morning, is the nature of Kate's disappearance is left unknown to the reader. There is something chilling about not knowing the circumstances of a child's disappearance that I felt justified Stephen and his wife, Julia's, inability to move past Kate's disappearance. For me, this retelling put into perspective the idea that certain events have such an impact on a person that so many years on, it still feels like it happened only yesterday. The unfurling of Stephen's horror and pain is slow and measured in such a way that I forgot that I was reading Kate's disappearance as an event that had already taken place.

The way Stephen and Julia grieve over the loss of their daughter is an interesting aspect of the novel. I loved the way Stephen was presented in a state of numb existence, one that to those around him, makes him appear as though he is no longer grieving his loss. But I think the flashback to Kate's disappearance, highlights the effect his loss has had on him because he is a mere shadow of the man he once was. In contrast, I found Julia reflected the anguish the loss of a child brings and the crippling effect it can have on a parent. I thought their marriage also reflected the different ways they experienced their pain. The unspoken grief they are both still experiencing projects out and corrupts their marriage until both Stephen and Julia are left with nothing but pain. I liked that McEwan added this dimension to the novel because I understood more about the novel in the end when their marriage is able to begin again.

The character of Charles Darke was, for me, the most endearing character in the novel. His childlike nature made me warm to his reasoning for reverting back into a state of childhood, despite his potential for having a successful writing or political career. To some, Charles would seem like a character who is throwing his life away in order to live in a past he was never given the chance to live in the first place. But, to me, Charles is the strongest character of them all in the way he chooses to not get stuck living a life he does not want. He chooses to live life his way and I found myself respecting that about him.

This brings me to the idea of the relativity of time, and Charles choosing to live his adult life as a child reinforced this notion to me. I admit, I had some difficulty understanding this at first, however. Perhaps the most confusing aspect of the novel is Stephen's inadvertant jump through time when he appears in a past that is both his own, and yet, not. When Stephen appears to his pregnant mother through the window of the pub she is sitting in with his father. We find out that Stephen is yet to be born and has accidently saved his own life by appearing to his mother who decides to keep her unborn child. With the exception of Charles's wife, Thelma (who is fascinated with time), this scene is, perhaps, the most obvious instance of the fluidity of time. In this scene, for me, Stephen represented the "Child" in The Child In Time. He is Stephen the father, Stephen the husband, but at the same time he is the child who almost never came to be.

I, at first, questioned McEwan's ending the novel the way he did. I thought the birth of a new child for Stephen and Julia was a little too perfect an ending for my liking. (A 'happily-ever-after' ending did not seem a fitting end, but the sex of the child Julia gives birth to is not revealed and I realised that replacing Kate in order to repair the Lewis's marriage was not the intention). When I read the scene a second time, I realised that what used to be withdrawn, and awkward exchanges, full of things unsaid, between Stephen and Julia, transformed back into a partnership. I realised then, that through the way McEwan slowly listed the sadness throughout the novel, gave new weight to the saying that, "time heals all wounds." I found that there came a point where the pain was not so crippling for Stephen and Julia. That the pain was not so crippling anymore and nothing had changed but time. I found such a powerful lesson in this novel about loss, love, pain, and the flexibility of time.

It may sound a little strange considering the subject matter, but I found the novel to be unexpectedly uplifting. I must say, I cannot recall ever experiencing a book that has had such a profound impact on me. Admittedly, I found it difficult to read this novel at times, but I am glad that I did because of how much I learned from it. A serious, but very good read!

What is the big deal with Twilight anyway?

*This post is about the Twilight books not the films*


First of all, don't get me wrong, I did read the Twilight books when I was a teen back before the rights were sold to make it into a film... and I loved it! Edward Cullen seemed like the perfect boy (even though he is technically a man...a very old one at that!) but I fell for him and found myself hopelessly day-dreaming about him whenever I could. I think it is fair to say that I was what is now known as a 'TeamEdward' girl. What has prompted this post is that I loaned my sister my Twilight series a few nights ago and realised that I have yet to even finish Breaking Dawn. It is fair to say that my feelings toward the Twilight books have drastically changed over the years to the point where I question if 'Twilight Mania' has super-charged an otherwise okay series into a worldwide phenomenon for no apparent reason other than that vampires are just 'in' at the moment.

Nowadays, I cringe at how besotted I was for the sappy, wet, and, quite frankly, irritating Edward. This is without taking into account that I always have, and always will, have little to no patience for the equally sappy, equally annoying, and apparently deaf, werewolf, Jacob Black. I find myself wondering how on earth I had the patience to read through more than one book about these two supernatural fools who seem to be head-over-heels in love with the teenager, Bella, who, if one can believe, is even more annoying than the two male characters put together if her over the top behaviour in New Moon is anything to go by.


I understand that I am in the minority when it comes to my criticism of Twilight (no doubt there will be some Twi-Hards who would love to see my head on a stick right about now), but I reinforce the fact that I was once a great lover of the Twilight series. But there comes a time when simply having a hot vampire and equally hot werewolf, vying for the love of a teenage girl is simply not enough. There are simply too many holes in the novels that make it next to impossible to truly understand any of these characters. Why does Edward love Bella so? What about his love for her is so different to that of Jacob's? What makes Jacob hold on to his love for Bella? How and why does Bella just blindly fall in love with Edward? If her contemplation of suicide in New Moon is anything to go by, clearly her love for him is self-destructive. Are we not taught in everyday life that such love is unhealthy? So then why is it okay for Bella to exhibit such behaviour with little to no explanation at all? And if there is going to be a love triangle, surely Bella would question her feelings for Jacob more than she does? Otherwise why is there a need for a 'TeamEdward' and 'TeamJacob' in the first place when it is always pretty clear that Bella will always be with Edward. (Perhaps there is more danger of Jacob winning his fair lady's heart in Breaking Dawn, I would not know seeing as the very thought of finishing the book makes me cringe).

This brings me to my real quarrel with the series, that of characterisation. Edward, Bella, and Jacob are the central characters and yet, for me, there is simply not enough characterisation to warrant such praise from fans of the series. I understand that Bella is supposed to be the 'plain Jane' type of girl but even the simplest characters are not as one-dimensional as this. She is as plain in personality as she is in looks. Even the rest of the Cullen family struggle to hold up as stand-alone characters in my opinion. If it is so dangerous for Bella to be with Edward why does the family accept and welcome Bella into their family so quickly? Surely they would have some reservations about her safety, and if not hers, what about Edward? The one character who comes even remotely close to having some characterisation in this respect is Rosalie. Despite this, Bella simply avoids interaction with Rosalie as much as possible and an otherwise interesting character is reduced to cold, hard stares every so often. What a waste of a character she is.


With the new interest in vampire fiction and films, as evidenced from the worldwide hysteria (amongst teens and adults alike) every time a new film from the series is released, I felt the need to review a vampire series that is not only successful, but is actually good enough to warrant the success it has had. My next posts will review J.R. Ward's Blackdagger Brotherhood as the basis to my point that the hype surrounding the Twilight series, whilst helping to increase the profile of Vampire fiction, has also done it a great disservice.