Let's Be Honest...

It has been over 18 months since I last blogged.

I can't say why.

I don't blog for anyone else but myself so maybe that has been the issue all along. So let's just be honest and get this out there.

I am finding being in my twenties really sucks. Anyone who says otherwise is obviously not as controlling as I am. I mean, seriously, if I could hop into a time machine and go into the future to see what, and who, I would be in 10 years time I would do it.

No question.

With that said, I don't want to be embarrassed about the books I like anymore.

Do I like the Classics?

Absolutely. They helped me learn so much about literature and, ultimately, set me on the road of discovering what it is I truly like.

I have never been dishonest about my love of Fantasy.

But then, I am embarrassed to say that I don't necessarily correct those who wrongly assume that includes Sci-Fi.

So now that I am both pursuing a PhD in English Literature and writing a book (which has spawned 4 others and it's own spin off somehow!) I am ready to be honest with myself instead of being a snob.

My business is Fantasy. I love it. And by this I don't mean vampires, werewolves, aliens etc. All of that is a given. I mean Fantasy as a yearning, a thirst for some feeling(s) that you can only get through books, such as love, hate, pain, an exploration of sexuality that would otherwise be closed to you.

That kind of thing.

I love the endless possibilities it creates in my mind.

I love the different things it makes me feel when I read it.

I love how I can put down all of the emotions I feel when I put pen to paper.

And when I find something that brings alive all of those fantasies I read and then re-read it. Most recently a book helped me deal with never having truly dealt with the betrayal of my father leaving when I was a child. Books are the only thing I would ever trust enough to do that and it came about after I felt intense anger and hatred over a character forgiving her sister for betraying her.

I had to question why I felt so strongly about it that I could not pick up the book for 2 months to finish it.

And there it was.

So for those who know me the most this isn't exactly some kind of grand revelation. It is not any kind of revelation in fact.

I'm just being honest with myself.

And that feels damn good.


N x